Ti amo, ti voglio bene
Love truly is lovelier in Italy. “Anywhere else,” the nineteenth-century French writer known as Stendhal observed, “it is only a bad copy.” Only in Italy can love’s colpo di fulmine (lightning bolt) set off spasimi (spasms) of infatuation of such Richter-scale force that they transform love-struck suitors into spasimanti, corteggiatori, innamorati, pretendenti, or, if almost fatally stricken, cascamorti. In English a heart breaks just like a dish, but a lovesick Italian soul claims a word of its own—spezzare—when it shatters into bits. It’s no wonder that pop singer Tiziano Ferro croons of love making him so imbranato (slang for clumsy or awkward) that he’s like a silly little dumpling .
Yet despite their romantic reputation, Italians reserve “ti amo” (I love you) only for the loves of their lives. English-speakers love everyone and everything with the same wanton word—a lack of precision (and imagination) that confused a friend when she moved here from Italy. “People were always telling me they loved my hair, my eyes, my spaghetti alla carbonara,” she explains. “How could it feel special when a man said he loved me?”
Italian parents and children as well as boyfriends and girlfriends express affection with “Ti voglio bene,” which translates literally into “I want you well,” but conveys an entire universe of best wishes: “I want the best for you.” “I want all good things for you.” “I want what you want because I care so much for you.” This phrase echoes in the lyrics of hundreds of love songs. Smitten teenagers end their text messages with TVTB for “ti voglio tanto bene” (I love you so much).
Like many foreigners, I couldn’t quite comprehend the meaning of ti voglio bene--until I developed long-term relationships with Italians. Over the years I came to care--and care deeply—about our extended “family” at the villa we rent every summer, the Romans who welcomed me into their home like a sorellina (little sister) and the friends who shared so many happy times with us. The first time one of them said “ti voglio bene,” I felt loved in a new and wonderful way.
Sayings and Expressions
colpo di fulmine -- lightning bolt of instant infatuation
essere innamorato di – to be in love with
amare una donna alla follia—to love a woman to distraction
“amor, che nullo amato amar perdona” -- one of the most famous lines from Dante’s Divine Comedy (Canto V, 100); it describes a love so powerful that it permits no loved one not to love.
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Posted by: Buy Viagra Alternative | November 10, 2009 at 08:12 AM
Thank you for the compliment. I wish English had a good equivalent of ti voglio bene.
Buona domenica!
Posted by: Dianne Hales | August 22, 2009 at 06:10 PM
Dianne you really described the difference between Ti amo and Ti voglio bene very well, as usual. It's always a bit difficult to explain to non-native speakears when these two expressions are used in Italian...
Posted by: Danilo | August 21, 2009 at 06:15 PM
This whole blog that you have set up is top-notch. Well done. I stumbled across it as I was looking for an article on Italian language. I’m really looking forward to reading all of your archives. Thanks for sharing.
Posted by: Italian Learner | June 27, 2009 at 05:47 AM
Love your example. See, we just can't get enough of that word! Thanks for visiting my blog, Dianne
Posted by: Dianne Hales | February 24, 2009 at 07:45 AM
This one has always been a hard one for me, because I don't shy away from telling friends and family I love them in English. And TVB has just never had the same punch to me for some reason. It's the one phrase in Italian I have never warmed to.
That being said, my friends and I always say "ti amo" jokingly, as in,
"Quando esci, potresti comprare le mie sigarette?"
"Certo."
"Ti amo."
Posted by: Miss Expatria | February 24, 2009 at 03:44 AM
My friend Valentina, who celebrates her onomastico (saint's day) on February 14, tell me that on this day in Vico del Gargano, in Puglia, the alleys and squares of this little town welcome hundreds of young people in love. They eat the local oranges blessed by the patron saint San Valentino and drink their juice, considered an elixir for love and happiness. Of special note is the famous “Vicolo del bacio,” a tiny pathway only 19 inches wide, that young couples walk through exchanging kisses and sweet nothings.
Posted by: Dianne Hales | February 13, 2009 at 11:26 AM
Great post...I love the weaving of Italian words throughout :)
Posted by: Michelle | Bleeding Espresso | February 13, 2009 at 02:55 AM